This roadtrip planner will take you through the Southern Alps, where you’ll experience pristine mountains, rivers and yep, sexy fluffy sheep things. Gosh I love those sheep things. Hop in your Wicked Camper and soak up the breathtaking scenery which the South Island of New Zealand has to offer.
Park up your Wicked Camper and spend a day taking in the vibrant and eclectic vibes of Christchurch, the South Island’s largest city. I have so much admiration for Christchurch man. It’s quite touching when you walk around and see all the rebuilding taking place. Christchurch has a lot of heart which is clearly notable when visiting this inspiring city.
Admire the old English gardens set amongst pop up bars and the Re Start shopping container malls. Then there’s the Cardboard Cathedral. Contemporary art galleries, boutique shops and open-air markets each add to Christchurch’s creative vibe.
The Avon River flows gently through the city centre - if you need some down time during your road trip, this is a great spot to spark up a zoot and relax. If you’re keen to check some more shit out, then why not go for a drive through Port Hills, offering stunning views of the city and coast.
Cruise down State Highway 73, head west through Porters Pass and if you have time, check out Arthur’s Pass National Park. Highlights include Waimakariri and Otira River gorges, drives along the Otira Viaduct and natural wonders such as Castle Hill Rocks and Cave Stream Reserve. Fucking sexy baby.
Castle Hill is sure to impress, with monolithic limestone formations on display, offering great views and some awesome photo ops. You can even climb it, just don’t fall off and break your back you dingbat.
Discover Canterbury Plains, stretching from north to south for miles and miles. The road will take you up into the foothills of the Southern Alps - watch as the scenery changes from hills to mountains, to rivers to lakes, ski fields and sexy sheep of all different sizes.
By now you’ll have reached halfway across the West Coast. Arthur’s Pass Village, nestled in-alpine grandeur is perfect for walking trails through the Southern Alps. Time to hop out your Wicked Camper and set foot across trails and trails of ravenous sexy Kiwi land. Listen out for the Kea – a sexy parrot native to the area. She’s so goddamn sexy.
As you head west in your Wicked Camper-mobile-of love-and lust-and joy-and…WTF?? - You’ll notice more and more greenery. No, it’s not all that weed you’ve been smoking. Rather, the lush rainforests dominating the region and a large dose of rare wildlife to go with.
It’s laid back out here man, so if you haven’t been puffing on that fine Kush then I don’t know what’s wrong with you.
Continuing the Wicked roadtrip, you’ll soon discover Greymouth, the largest town out west and well known for many awesome seascapes. Look out for echo the dolphin, he’s so sexy. The local brewery runs heaps of tours, so if you want to continue getting wasted, you’re in the right place.
Exchange your campervan for a quadbike, go caving or white-water rafting or head up the Croesus Track for a hike and take in the amazing scenery. End the day with more beers. Sounds good.
If you want to hit the road again, why not consider taking the 35 minute drive north to explore the rugged coastline leading to Punakaiki. There you’ll find the infamous Pancake Rocks – awesome limestone formations and impressive natural wonders. Unfortunately not eatable.